motivation

The One Who Sees You

There is something special about having people or someone in your life that seriously understand and get you. It creates a place that you have the safety and security of just being you. There’s a horrible feeling that lingers when you can’t be you. You can feel restricted like a bird whose wings were clipped.  Everyone doesn’t have that, but it doesn’t mean that you will never get it. The first place that you will experience this is with God. It’s within this relationship, that you will experience this freedom. There is no greater feeling in this world when you know that you have someone that loves you unconditionally. God intends for all of us to have this kind of love with Him. It is the relationship with Him that you will have the freedom to be you in other relationships. He desires to be your First Love. He will show you also how to be that person for others as well. Without His love, we don’t truly love unconditionally. We love with conditions, and we have limits on our love.

Let me encourage you! God will bring the person in your life that really “sees” you. They will see past the man or woman who people think has it all together. They will see beyond the tower of strength. They will see the one who has insecurities. They not only see your strength but also your weaknesses. They will see you striving to be who you were created to be before the foundation of the earth. They will see the one who needs to be encouraged at times. They will see beyond the tears that run like the Nile River and through the smile that brightens the room. They will see further than the laughs or jokes and see the pain that lies within your eyes. They will see you in your most vulnerable moment, and allow you to be open.

They will see you when you are a hot mess. They will see you when you are falling apart and can’t seem to get it together. They will see the one who needs a shoulder to lean and support for your back. They will see the walls you have built with bricks of disappointment, hurt, and rejection. They will see who you were, who you are now, and the person you are in the process of becoming. They will envision you as God sees you as the prince and princess you are.  They will truly behold your heart. They will behold the essence of your beauty that goes far deeper than the surface of your skin. They will see who you are like you stand before God….WHOLE, NAKED, and UNASHAMED. And even after seeing your strengths, weaknesses, and flaws, they will not only love all of you without judgement. They will even like you. You won’t be too much for them or not enough. He is bringing people in your path who sees you and still chooses you. They will simply “see” you and you can simply be you!

Look in the mirror and behold the one who was created with a purpose. Ask God to show you yourself, through His eyes! Love and accept the image before! So, when that person or people come, you won’t be afraid to let them see you.

Tara S. Middleton

 

Are You Stuck?

Throughout my fight with my health challenges, I would experience paralysis that could sometimes last for weeks on end. I would be stuck in the bed and not be able to move. There would be times that I couldn’t even get up to go to the bathroom and had to get help to do the necessities of life. You can become paralyzed sometimes throughout different phases in your life. It will cause you not to even perform  basic functions.

Paralysis (according to dictionary.com):

1.To cause (a person or part of the body) to become partly or wholly incapable of movement

2.To render (someone) unable to think or act normally, especially through panic or fear:

3.To bring (a system, place, or organization) to a standstill by causing disruption or chaos:

There are things that you experience in life that will immobilize you from moving   fully into who you are in the process of becoming. Dreams, goals, and desires won’t be manifested. When paralysis sets in you can begin to operate in a way that is out of character. You can be driven by fear or panic and make decisions up you wouldn’t normally make. Instead of operating in faith, it can push you to make irrational decisions and not sound decisions.  It will literally disrupt life as you may know it. At times when I was paralyzed, I would be attempting to move my body. In my mind, I felt I was moving and making some kind of progress. Yet my physical therapist would tell me I was in the same position.  I would be so tired from trying to move. I tired myself out and went absolutely nowhere. Sometimes we think we are making progress and moving, but we are stuck. Some heart issues like unforgiveness, fear of rejection, and hurt can cause us to be stagnant. Healing is needed so you can experience life the way God intended.  There is nothing that you have done in your past that can cause you not to move forward in your future. Whom the Son has set free, is free indeed! There is freedom in Christ. You don’t have to bound by any sin or shame.

Mark 2; 1-12 refers to the paralytic who was carried by his four friends. They couldn’t help him so they wanted to carry him to the place where Jesus was located. They knew that his situation may have appeared hopeless or impossible, but they knew that nothing was impossible with Jesus. They could get him in the house with Jesus. It was too crowded, so they went up to the roof top. They tore a hole in the roof top to lower his bed into the house so he could be in His presence. They were determined to get their friend the help he needed. They had to think outside the box and the norm  ear one another’s burden, and so fulfill the law of Christ” (Gal. 6:1). Surround yourselves with people who are willing and has the ability to carry you in the presence of God when you can’t get yourself there. Do not forget to be that friend or loved one for others in your life as well. Sometimes we have the people who are there to support, but do we offer them the same support?

This is a side note. To those of you who are still single (not married), make sure your mate can have the ability to catch you in the spirit and can carry you to His presence. Two believers can still be unequally yoked. The oxen were yoked together with those who could carry the same weight so they could reach the destined place or fulfill the assignment. Now back to the topic at hand.

 

The house was crowded with people. There were bystanders who watched in amazement to see the miracles that took place. People observed the friends carry the paralytic on the roof and watched the miracle took place. We all will experience times when we may be immobilized and seem like we may need support/help to get to the place where we can walk again. No one can function effectively by themselves.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-11

Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labor:
10 If either of them falls down,
one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
and has no one to help them up.
11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?

It is okay for us to let our loved ones know that we need help. Do not allow the enemy to make you feel bad for needing help at times. He tries to get us alone so he can prey on us. He doesn’t go after the pack of sheep, he singles the one that is alone. He looks for the ones who are weak to devour. Are you the paralytic who needs to be carried to Jesus for healing? Are you the faithful friends who will do what is required to get others to Jesus? Or are you are the bystander who is in awe as God and others work around us?  The awesome thing is no matter where we find ourselves, there is always an answer. There is always hope.  Don’t be dismayed or discouraged!!

 

Remember, leave no treasure undiscovered!

 

paralytic

Love Requires Work

Communication and unmet expectations is one of the major issues in all relationships. You can share your heart with individuals over and over. Until a person realizes and identifies the issue, they will not change. Sometimes we expect to receive love from people who don’t have the capacity in their heart to love you. Or it could be that they aren’t willing to make room in their heart for you. So, it takes you to understand whether a person has the ABILITY or WILLINGNESS to love you. Then you must adjust your perspective, love, and accept them for who they are today. If you don’t you will be hurt and disappointed repeatedly because of expectations not being met. Love is a choice. We choose to love or not to love the people in our lives. All relationships require give and take. Both people must pour into the relationship. Boundaries may have to be placed so that you won’t end up in a deficit. You teach people how to love you. If you keep accepting anything, you are saying it’s okay. Don’t be afraid to communicate what you need in relationships. Sometimes we make people feel wrong for communicating their needs. Don’t allow anyone to make you feel bad for sharing how you feel.  Gary Chapman author of one of my favorite books identify our love languages (the way we communicate care and love) as the following:

  • Quality time
  • Words of affirmation
  • Physical touch
  • Gifts
  • Acts of service

 

Everyone communicate love differently. It is insane for us to think that everyone loves the same way. I know that each person in my life have different needs in relationships. So, I try my best to communicate with them in their languages and meet their needs in our relationships. Just like if you have children. Each of your children will have different needs. Therefore, you communicate your love with them in the way they require. However, often we try to love everyone in our lives the same way or maybe we don’t even consider the certain relationships beyond a certain scope. All relationships take work and effort. You don’t get in your car or live in your house without paying attention to it to see if it needs maintenance. You know that your car requires gas and oil. Relationships require maintenance. If you have a relationship that is important to you, be sure that you check in from time to time. There may be some relationships change over time. As we grow, our needs may change. I recently noticed that my love language changed. After growth in some areas of my life, I realized that my main two love languages aren’t the same anymore. I never thought that those would now be different.  Evaluate and check in with your loved ones from time to time. You should be comfortable expressing your needs in relationships. If a person makes you feel bad for that, they may not be willing to put in the work. Could it be that what you are expressing could reflect something they aren’t ready to address?

 

Romans 12:10 Amplified Bible (AMP)

10 Be devoted to one another with [authentic] brotherly affection [as members of one family], give preference to one another in honor;

 

 

 July 26, 2016

 

When I was only 110-125 lbs for 30 years of my life, people teased me that I was too skinny. “Girl you need to put some weight on those bones!” “A man need some meat to hold onto”. “You are way too little”. I wanted to gain weight because I started believing what everyone was saying. I needed more curves or thicker legs. If only I could get to 135 lbs, then I’ll be good. That was the maximum weight I wanted to be in my life. Then I gained weight after my health challenge, people started telling me that I was too big. “You are going to be huge”. My body has gone through a huge transformation throughout this time. However, I had to not listen to others when it came to how they think I should look.I had to love my  body no matter what it looked like. Whatever goal I set for myself now, is because I am doing it for myself and no one else. After what I have gone through, I’m thankful I’m still living in this body.I am grateful that I am alive. I have to remind myself of that and thank God daily!

It is something that is engraved so much into society now. We often forget that people have to live in these bodies after you leave them with those words. Our words hold weight and even though we say things innocently to someone, it doesn’t mean it won’t affect them. So my point is LOVE YOUR BODY no matter the size or how it is shaped!! If you are currently battling this, each morning go in the mirror and tell yourself “I LOOK GREAT. I LOVE MY BODY”!  Give special attention to the areas that you consider problem areas. Lets call them your sexy or love areas.

If there’s something that you want to work on to be healthier ,it will motivate you to do that. Consult with your physician if you are over 30, and you want to run. Create a workout plan for you. I will be doing another blog about achieving your goal weight, so stay tuned.  Just be sure you are doing it for you and not because of the pile of words that been planted on the inside of you. I decree and declare every negative seed that has been planted to be plucked up and I call crop failure on those seeds. Remember you are fearfully and wonderfully made in His image! Be encouraged you are a overcomer!!!

#lovetheskinyouarein #TransformationTuesday #loveyou#whoareyoulisteningto #EmbraceYou#Thankfulforabody #HappytoBeAlive#motivation #iblog #blogger #inspire#Healthy #healthieryou

June 3, 2016

2:38 AM

 

Tonight I jumped in the shower, well not actually, jump, these past few years I have had to use a shower chair. Doesn’t jump sound so much more interesting than shower chair? I think it does, but that is the author in me. My faith says I will be jumping in the shower any day now and we have to call those things that be not as though they were. Ok so now I’m preaching, but you don’t have to send me an honorarium for that nugget. LOL! So back to my story that was so rudely interrupted by someone who just loves to talk.  Tonight as I jumped (by faith) into the shower. I sensed that I needed to do something different. No I’m not talking about method of me washing this gorgeous hour glass 6 pack body of mine. (If I keep speaking it, it will happen) Usually when I get into the shower late night/early morning, I spend time conversing with My Father. He may be yours, but since this is my story He is mine. We can share though. I decided to do something different. I decided instead of the both of us talking, that He could just talk to me. All I had to do was listen. So I started to wash and just listened to what He Had to share with His beloved daughter. He showed me an image of something in which He wanted to expound. He begins speaking.

Then I said” Oh wow! That is why he said by the next time he sees me……

My Daddy says “You are talking. You weren’t supposed to be talking.

Really? You have a sense of humor tonight. Huh?

“And you still are talking.” he said.

I dared not speak again but wasn’t that some major shade? I just continued to wash and listened. Then my mind started racing to a plethora of different things. I was even thinking about a new shaving technique that I may want to try later today to go to the beach, as I was stepping out of the shower.

Then immediately God says “You are not focused”

I yelled almost at the top of my lungs “I am not focused!”

What is that I should be focused on right now?” I asked

Then immediately simultaneously he told me what it was and my vision board that was hanging nicely on my wall fell to the floor.  It shook me, not in a fearful way, but that I knew He meant business. This was a serious heartfelt matter to him.

The very thing that He had first given me to do wasn’t anywhere on my vision board. I thought I was already doing it. So I didn’t add it to my 2016 vision board, which is separate from my lifetime vision wall.

Then immediately it hit me after hearing God so clear. I had been praying about ideas that God had given me. He already told me that is was so I knew this is the season for those things to be birthed.  I was praying about hindrances, sowing seed, and praising for manifestation of those things.  I wasn’t given much attention to the thing he first assigned me to do. I had lost my focus. My focus had to be redirected. As I typed that last line I remembered God speaking to me about my focus in a nonverbal way.  I woke up in the middle of the night after having a seizure. My vision became very blurry than usual. Then it went black. I couldn’t see for a length of time.  I didn’t let it scare me because I had actually lost my vision previously when the oncologist and neurologist admitted me into the hospital for some testing. Then since then it has happened periodically. However, when my vision started to come back it was different than usual. It was really crazy for me to even describe. I remembered saying that it seemed like my vision was really off focus.

Then aloud I asked “God are you trying to tell me I’m off focused. What is it that I need to be focused on?”

He was speaking to me then, but I didn’t listen obviously. Until now, I debated whether I would tell what it was that I wasn’t focused on like I should be. For a moment, I didn’t want to be completely naked. I don’t mind being naked and unashamed in front of God, but wasn’t too sure if I wanted to be completely naked in front of the world. I wanted a few fig leaves to cover up like Adam and Eve did when they realized they were naked. LOL!!! However, I have to be obedient and that this will hep someone. I wasn’t completely focused on my first assignment as a minister, prophetess, or evangelist or whatever title in which you can identify.  I am not concerned about titles, but just the fruit.  If you walk in that office, the fruit should be evident. I had been focused on it because I was still walking in that part of my purpose. Yet, I wasn’t giving it a 100% like I used to do. I was having a hard time balancing with everything I had to do.  Then on top of that I am fighting the fight of faith for my healing and other areas that healing challenge try to effect and affect. I decree and declare that any areas of my life aren’t affected by it at all! You have to always make sure you are cultivating your gifts. Don’t ever get comfortable and you aren’t giving whatever that thing is that God has called you to do. We should always be improving ourselves.

God has called me to do a lot of things. He has given me many assignments and work to do. I used to ask God was he sure he had the right person and it was so much things that I knew I couldn’t do all of that. He quickly shut me down by telling me that I could do anything through Christ that give me strength. (Philippians 4:13) Besides, I am only the vessel that He chose to do this work through. Yet the first thing that He had assigned me to do, wasn’t anywhere on that vision board.I have to be real and tell you that I started to feel a little frustration the last few weeks. There are things that I have been believing God for years and some a decade and a half. Now the time by itself can cause frustration if I allowed it. However, I grew more frustrated because I knew it was coming from another place as well. The time wasn’t the biggest issue. Then the frustration began to grow because I knew that frustration could cause what you are birthing to stuck right in the birth canal. I knew the enemy can’t stop the plans and purposes God has for my life. However, the devil knows if he can cause me to be frustrated that I could delay my own manifestation. Faith is what is needed to birth what you are believing. Faith and Frustration can’t co-exist because the root of frustration is fear. Fear is the antithesis of faith.

Frustration can set in when you aren’t walking out your purpose.  It is like you have something on the inside of you that you know you should be doing. Sometimes you may not know exactly what it is and then there are times when you do know what it is you should be doing. I now know that was the source of my frustration. It came from me not giving enough focus on me sharing the gospel of Christ and teaching the unadulterated Word of God.  Sometimes you could even think that you should be further along. That is a trick of the enemy. That type of frustration sets in when you start to compare your life to other people. Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! That is the trick of the enemy don’t look at someone else’s life and think you should be where they are now. Why should you be because you are the same age or you are older? Maybe you think you should be married now because you looked around and others are married? You could think that you should have a child by now or more children.  You have to know that you are where you are supposed to be.

Have you been frustrated? Do you feel like things haven’t been holding your attention? Do you feel like you should be further along in life? If you answered yes to any of those questions, it is an indicator that you aren’t focusing on the things in which God desires for you. Have some quiet time with Him and ask Him to show you the area in which you should be focusing. You don’t want to miss your season because your focus is off. Put on your spiritual glasses or contacts so that you can see through the eyes of faith!!

im so focused

 

Dreams Can Become Reality

Tara's Dream. Dream Foundation. Photo: Isaac Hernandez.

As I was sitting watching the old episodes of The Real on YouTube, my telephone rang. It was the Dream Foundation they asked me to fly out in a couple of days to sit in the audience to watch The Real. They had already called to tell me that my dream of meeting Tamar Braxton wasn’t going to take place. However, I was just grateful to sit in the audience where I could see her on my favorite talk show. I had so much opposition that came up to try and stop me from going on this trip. I had less than 24 hours to have someone to accompany me. Everything fell in place and before you knew it I was on the plane headed to L.A. I thank God for Tawanna being able to go with me.  I knew she was the person to go with me. I was excited, but at the same time I was extremely nervous for some reason. This was my first vacation that I really got to go on in 15 years and I was determined to maximize very opportunity on this trip.

It was September 16, 2014, Tuesday morning at 4am. I was so excited about going to see Tamar Braxton from the audience of my favorite talk show, “The Real”! I couldn’t sleep! Could this really be happening? I woke Tawanna up so we could start preparing for the day. I knew that I was supposed to be interviewed by Dream Foundation and to lunch with some of the philanthropists before heading to Warner Brother Studios so that I could be feet away from Tamar Braxton and of course I wanted to see the other ladies as well. After finally choosing my outfit for the day, I nervously got dressed. We went downstairs to meet Tristan and Issac. They both were going to escort us for today. Tristan was the one to interview me and Issac was the photographer and videographer for the day. I instantly fell in love with Tristan’s personality. He was so energetic and full of life. Issac also had a heart of gold. After our initial interview, we went downstairs to meet Curtis my driver for the day. I walked outside the hotel and there was a black stretch limousine. I knew that I was going to enjoy what the rest of the day had in store. We arrived at Olive and Thyme to meet Danny and Lynnette from Dream Foundation. We enjoyed our lunch as we chatted to get to know more about each other. They gave me a heart stone as a gift to remind me about the lunch and the day my dream was to come true.

Tara's Dream. Dream Foundation. Photo: Isaac Hernandez.

Finally we were pulling up to Warner Brother Studios. I was dancing inside and trying to remain calm on the outside. I felt like a kid in a candy store. After checking into the security gate, we pulled up right in front of the studio. We were greeted by a security guard who was asking for me by name. She told me that I would be going to Green Room 1 while waiting for the show to start. We walked into the green room where there was a couch, a couple of wing chairs, a table full of snacks, a refrigerator full of drinks, and a bathroom. I wondered what celebrity had been inside this green-room. The producers met us to let us know the show was starting late and that I was the only audience member that got to wait in a green-room instead of the 110 degree California sun. Every time the door opened my heart jumped. I knew they told me that I wouldn’t get to me Tamar, but a girl could only wish. Once the show was ready to start. We were escorted to the audience to sit on the purple couch, the seats that I secretly wanted to sit. Vincent Herbert walked out and sat with the other producers only 5 feet away from us. The theme song started playing and out walked Adrienne Baillon, Jeannie Mai, Loni Love, Tamera Mowry-Housley, and my girl Tamar Braxton-Herbert!!! I have never been a start struck person. However, I was so hyped to see Tamar and Vince. Tristan and Tawanna both looked at me to see my reaction. During the taping of the show, one of the producers told me that she was trying to arrange a picture with Tamar after the show. I was even more excited. I didn’t believe I had this much emotion behind seeing her in person. After one of the segments, the crew started preparing for another segment. I suddenly grew nervous. I tapped Tawanna and told her that I was extremely nervous. She just smiled and said “You will be okay”.

Tara's Dream. Dream Foundation. Photo: Isaac Hernandez.

They were finally starting the segment. Tamera started talking about Dream Foundation and about a letter sent in to them. Then all I heard was “Tara Middleton we are talking about you. You thought you were going to be in the audience, but girl you are going to be on the show”. I walked on stage, but at the moment I am sure you could see my heart jumping through my blazer. I hugged Tamar for a long time and didn’t let her go. They interviewed me and they surprised me to go window shopping. I was really overwhelmed. Everything seemed surreal. I appreciated all the gifts they gave me, However, the most touching moment for me was when Tamar gave me her very first Chanel bag that she bought when she was 18 years old. I cried at that moment and was in shock that my dream was actually was coming true before my eyes. My dream became my reality. I know it’s only because of God that this happened. Tamar was so sincere and you could tell that she really cared. She is very down to earth and not at all how media makes her appear. She is very humble and was just as elated to meet me as I was to meet her. I will treasure those moments that we shared.

Tara's Dream. Dream Foundation. Photo: Isaac Hernandez.

I have read a lot of negativity in social media about Tamar giving me this bag and why she didn’t pay my medical bills or bought a new bag. I knew she was sincere and that it was done from her heart. She honestly don’t owe me anything. She didn’t have to give me one thing. Yet, she gave me something that was special to her and it was much thought behind the gift. I was happy that she just accepted my dream of allowing me to meet her. Every Thursday I would watch Tamar “Braxton Family Values” or “Tamar and Vince”. It was my time to laugh to tune everything else out and gave me a way to escape what I am battling. This surprise came to me at a time in my life when I needed it the most. I honestly forgot ever gift that was given to me. I was just elated that I got the gist of meeting someone that meant so much to me. I was also happy for the opportunity to let her know how much she has helped me in during my battle. It is amazing the things that God will use to bring a smile on your face or happiness. God used Tamar Braxton-Herbert to encourage me.  Tamar inspired me to continue to fulfill my purpose of helping others discover their purpose.

Tara's Dream. Dream Foundation. Photo: Isaac Hernandez.

I am so thankful to everyone who was involved with helping my dream become my reality. Saying thank you doesn’t seem hardly enough. My life was forever changed through that experience.  Although I was excited about my dream becoming reality, I was really nervous after returning home from the taping of the show. It was the first time that I really shared and opened up about my battling brain cancer. I had been going through so much, and a lot I have had to keep very private. How would people react now that everyone know? I have already dealt with so much negativity about my battle from people ,I wasn’t sure I was ready.  However, I know that everything is purposed and nothing happens by chance. I was assured that this was the time that was set for me to share my story. If one person could be inspired or encouraged, it was worth me sharing. Who would have known that from me watching Braxton Family Values that it would have led me to meet my Tamar Braxton-Herbert and it would allow me to share my battle to encourage someone else in the world? Don’t let go of your dreams! Don’t stop fighting through whatever is that you are facing. Keep going! Keep smiling! Your life has purpose! There is treasure that lies on the inside of you waiting to be discovered. Talents, gifts, and greatness lies within you! Do not leave any treasure undiscovered!

Tara's Dream. Dream Foundation. Photo: Isaac Hernandez.

 

Are you sharing your gift?

Have you been going through any challenges lately? Do you know anyone going through any challenges? Often times you don’t think about the people going through things in the world you may not now and sometimes not even the people that you may know. I was sitting listening to the young girl who lost her arm due to a shark attack while surfing. Can you imagine the challenges she faced? Being afraid of water, sharks, and surfing? Trying to function with one arm? However, this young girl persevered and faced all of her fears and she is now one of the world’s best surfers. She focused on giving back and helping others in spite of her own struggles. Many people can stand to learn a lesson from this young lady. She overcame more challenges from that one trial that many of you have faced in a lifetime. Sometimes you can be stuck just inside your own world that you fail to see those who could be suffering next to you. I’m working a full time job! I’m married! I have children! I’m busy in ministry! Any of these sound familiar? These are just a few of the things I have heard or been guilty of saying myself at times. Truth remains you make time for the things that you deem important. If you stop for a second and get your eyes off of your problems, maybe you can help someone else with theirs. What if your encouraging words, phone call, errand, finances, or even just a hug could strengthen someone for the journey? What if you were the solution or answer to someone’s problems? Sometimes it only takes a few minutes. One of the ways that I get through my challenges is helping other people. It doesn’t matter what capacity as long as it’s within my power or ability to do. I actually prayed years ago that God made me a solution to a particular class of people in society. I am not perfect and I am not a saint. However, I have learned through my challenge how to be victorious no matter what situation I may be facing .I desire for those around me and others to be to be victorious as well. Stop focusing on your own problems and all the reasons you told yourself you CAN’T help. Focus on what you CAN do! Your problems won’t seem as big when you realize that there are people who may be dealing with much more than you. Have you lost an arm lately? Are you fighting for your life? Are you able to get up and dress yourself? Are you able to walk without assistance? Are you able to go to a job and work? Are you breathing on your own? I am not trying to belittle your trials, but I want you to be grateful for the things you don’t have to fight for day by day. Reach out beyond yourself and help someone else. Everyone has been given some kind of gift or talent. Are you sharing your gift? Gifts are supposed to be shared with others, not just for yourself. Remember treasure lies on the inside of you, do not let it go undiscovered!

th8HP3S6CJ