Month: October 2015

be_genuine

People will simply make time for things that they want to make time for. I have learned that from different relationships in my life. I use to allow people into my inner circle who didn’t make time for things that were important to me. I dated a guy once and he always gave me excuses as to why he couldn’t make it to something. It could have been a date, church, just an event that I wanted him to attend, and even just to visit me. That should have been a red flag for me, but it wasn’t. Sometimes love really does make us blind. I loved him so much that I just allowed it to continue because after all his reasons for not following through always sounded legitimate. Besides, there were other parts of our relationship that was great. I thought that when his schedule was different he would be there more to share those times. After all, it’s about quality not really quantity right? The time that we did spend together was great. We always had a great time and good conversation.

One day I went into my prayer closet and decided to take an inventory of the relationships in my life. I wanted to see if I was there for the people in my life like I wanted him to be. God really started to deal with me. I also realized that I wasn’t really happy with that relationship. I really had to be naked before Him and admit that I was hurt and disappointed. I started seeing patterns not only in this relationship. I saw that often in other relationships as well there wasn’t an even exchange of give and take. I often like to refer to the bank account. If you keep withdrawing from your account without making deposits, what is going to happen? Your account will eventually be overdrawn and in the negative. In your relationships, you want to be sure that you aren’t the only person making deposits. I had a couple of friends that I also talk to for evaluation purposes. I think that it is very important that you have people in your life that will tell you the truth no matter what. Sometimes I know I may not want to hear it. I may get upset, and they don’t get offended because I didn’t instantly receive what they had to say. They know in those times I will really meditate on what was shared with me so that I can adjust. I am far from perfect, but I constantly pray to make sure that I continue to transform into the woman that God created me to be.

After these evaluations of my life, I realized that I was allowing people to constantly withdrawal but wasn’t requiring them to make deposits. Sometimes you will have people in your life that aren’t able to make deposits in your life and honestly there needs to be a balance. You can’t expect a person to make deposits who aren’t capable. However, that doesn’t mean they need to automatically be cut off from your life. I hesitantly say this because they are a few exceptions. Be sure to be led by God of who those individuals are in your life. There will be people that will come in your life as an assignment. Often we mistake assignments for relationships. That is another message by itself that I will write about later. Just be sure that you have people in your life that is filling those deficits. I learned a valuable lesson when it came to this issue in my life. At first it was a struggle for me because even though I was naked and ashamed before God with the matter, I knew I needed to express that some of the individuals in my life. Being vulnerable isn’t always a comfortable position. I had to realize that it was okay for me to tell those in my life what I needed or required from them. I had to learn to say I’m hurt or disappointed and not feel bad about expressing myself. Then you need to forgive the individuals and let go of any bitterness. Also, I had to learn to forgive myself for expressing my feelings because I would over analyze it and didn’t think I had the right to do that. Thank God for growth!!

Back to my relationship, I realized that the guy I was dating was actually making time for the things that he really wanted to do. I realized that even though our relationship was important to me, it didn’t held that same place of importance for him. I concluded that I needed to create more time for working on my relationship with God. I saw the importance of spending more time in prayer. I started making sure that I was really pursing my assignments, purpose, and dreams. I work sun up to sun down for days at a time to work on the things for Rare Rubies, ministry, ministering to others, and my dreams that are still being unfolded. However, I also make time for my relationships in my life no matter what I am going through. Why? Those are the things in my life that are most important to me. Now on a lighter note, make sure you make time to keep yourself up people!! Don’t walk around not doing your hair, with no haircuts guys, and chipped finger nail polish. Just get some polish remover and wipe them off! (Laugh—You need it!)

Once again….People will make time for the things that they want to make time for. People Who don’t will make excuses. I challenge you to evaluate your life. What are the things that you make time for no matter what? You will then discover the things that are important to you!

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