embracing you

Love Requires Work

Communication and unmet expectations is one of the major issues in all relationships. You can share your heart with individuals over and over. Until a person realizes and identifies the issue, they will not change. Sometimes we expect to receive love from people who don’t have the capacity in their heart to love you. Or it could be that they aren’t willing to make room in their heart for you. So, it takes you to understand whether a person has the ABILITY or WILLINGNESS to love you. Then you must adjust your perspective, love, and accept them for who they are today. If you don’t you will be hurt and disappointed repeatedly because of expectations not being met. Love is a choice. We choose to love or not to love the people in our lives. All relationships require give and take. Both people must pour into the relationship. Boundaries may have to be placed so that you won’t end up in a deficit. You teach people how to love you. If you keep accepting anything, you are saying it’s okay. Don’t be afraid to communicate what you need in relationships. Sometimes we make people feel wrong for communicating their needs. Don’t allow anyone to make you feel bad for sharing how you feel.  Gary Chapman author of one of my favorite books identify our love languages (the way we communicate care and love) as the following:

  • Quality time
  • Words of affirmation
  • Physical touch
  • Gifts
  • Acts of service

 

Everyone communicate love differently. It is insane for us to think that everyone loves the same way. I know that each person in my life have different needs in relationships. So, I try my best to communicate with them in their languages and meet their needs in our relationships. Just like if you have children. Each of your children will have different needs. Therefore, you communicate your love with them in the way they require. However, often we try to love everyone in our lives the same way or maybe we don’t even consider the certain relationships beyond a certain scope. All relationships take work and effort. You don’t get in your car or live in your house without paying attention to it to see if it needs maintenance. You know that your car requires gas and oil. Relationships require maintenance. If you have a relationship that is important to you, be sure that you check in from time to time. There may be some relationships change over time. As we grow, our needs may change. I recently noticed that my love language changed. After growth in some areas of my life, I realized that my main two love languages aren’t the same anymore. I never thought that those would now be different.  Evaluate and check in with your loved ones from time to time. You should be comfortable expressing your needs in relationships. If a person makes you feel bad for that, they may not be willing to put in the work. Could it be that what you are expressing could reflect something they aren’t ready to address?

 

Romans 12:10 Amplified Bible (AMP)

10 Be devoted to one another with [authentic] brotherly affection [as members of one family], give preference to one another in honor;

 

 

 July 26, 2016

 

When I was only 110-125 lbs for 30 years of my life, people teased me that I was too skinny. “Girl you need to put some weight on those bones!” “A man need some meat to hold onto”. “You are way too little”. I wanted to gain weight because I started believing what everyone was saying. I needed more curves or thicker legs. If only I could get to 135 lbs, then I’ll be good. That was the maximum weight I wanted to be in my life. Then I gained weight after my health challenge, people started telling me that I was too big. “You are going to be huge”. My body has gone through a huge transformation throughout this time. However, I had to not listen to others when it came to how they think I should look.I had to love my  body no matter what it looked like. Whatever goal I set for myself now, is because I am doing it for myself and no one else. After what I have gone through, I’m thankful I’m still living in this body.I am grateful that I am alive. I have to remind myself of that and thank God daily!

It is something that is engraved so much into society now. We often forget that people have to live in these bodies after you leave them with those words. Our words hold weight and even though we say things innocently to someone, it doesn’t mean it won’t affect them. So my point is LOVE YOUR BODY no matter the size or how it is shaped!! If you are currently battling this, each morning go in the mirror and tell yourself “I LOOK GREAT. I LOVE MY BODY”!  Give special attention to the areas that you consider problem areas. Lets call them your sexy or love areas.

If there’s something that you want to work on to be healthier ,it will motivate you to do that. Consult with your physician if you are over 30, and you want to run. Create a workout plan for you. I will be doing another blog about achieving your goal weight, so stay tuned.  Just be sure you are doing it for you and not because of the pile of words that been planted on the inside of you. I decree and declare every negative seed that has been planted to be plucked up and I call crop failure on those seeds. Remember you are fearfully and wonderfully made in His image! Be encouraged you are a overcomer!!!

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