Consistency isn’t Constancy

Consistency is key in relationships. It is often though misunderstood with constancy. What does Consistency in a partner look like? It doesn’t mean that you have to be available every time or every second of the day. It doesn’t mean that you have to be absolutely sure of your feelings for each other at every moment. It doesn’t mean that you can’t do anything differently in your schedule that it causes people to not trust you.

Consistency is even in the midst of confusion, conflicting needs or desires, or contradictory feelings that you are still there for the other individual. How does that look in a partner ? It means that you take the time to check in with each other on a regular basis and making yourself available when you are needed. It is also having some sense of commitment to the process of building relationships, getting to know each other, and being with each other.

However, in order to truly be consistent you have to have honesty about where you are in the relationship. You also have to first be honest where you are in your own life In order to be open with the other person. It goes hand in hand like constancy and loyalty. Trust can’t be built in a relationship if there is no consistency.

I have had to let go of budding friendships or relationships because there was nothing present to help me build trust. In some ways it does build trust for the person to know that you aren’t going to really have their back or make them feel like the rug can be pulled under their feet at any moment. That’s not the trust that you want to build in a relationship.

Have you been confusing consistency with constancy? Ask yourself are you being consistent in your relationships? Are you receiving consistency?

❤️ Tara Middleton

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